Teching Tech Too Far At Home
How much does it shock you to think that people born within this century are going to be buying homes soon? Or that the kids born in the late nineties – who are still classed as part of the millennial generation – are already doing just that? Well, with the wired generation owning homes, it only seems fitting that these homes are fully prepped for every piece of technology available. And that’s not a bad thing – automatic coffee, a fridge that tells you when you’re out of milk, pet video chat? Let’s be honest, if we could have it by snapping our fingers, we would. However, when is enough enough?
The talking fridge was on the list of awesome tech, but it’s also on the Why? Tech. You think it would be great to live in the Beast’s castle, but in reality, why in the world is it a thing to ask your fridge when the milk is going to go off when you can just open the door and check for yourself.
Let’s delve deeper into the Beauty and the Beast metaphor with a singing bath… well, it plays your favorite music and uses hydrotherapy for the ultimate relaxation. Okay, we’ve talked ourselves into liking this one.
In the attempt to develop the best home security system, the tech world has come up with the smart lock. Sounds straightforward – no more fumbling with keys, no more lock picking, sounds good. But what happens if someone hacks it? Or Siri decides not to let you in? What if your phone is stolen or lost – or, heaven forbid, out of charge!
We’re not even going to attempt to argue with this one. A wifi coffee machine. Wake up, turn it on from your phone. Wait until the wonderful smell of alertness permeates the house. Drift down the stairs like a cartoon following a cloud of scent. Drink. Perfect.
You know that feeling when you’ve brought a pet but want zero contact with it? No? Well, the inventors of this machine have! The automatic pet feeder is perfectly designed to take all interaction out of your relationship with your pet. It’s a good idea if you’re going to be out all day every day. But your pet is going to get a Jurassic World complex when it only has a positive food relationship with a robot.
And while you’re not feeding your pet, you can look at it while not being with it too! What even is this? So, you can either bribe them into video chatting with you, or you can train your pet to call you when they want attention – oh an a treat which you can dispense from afar. Hmm, sounds a lot like a robot feeding your pet again. The benefit would be if the pet is home alone for most of the day, or you are away on holiday. With the optional extra toys, you can also remotely play with your pets. Which is great fun with a laser pointer and a cat, but it’s also still a bit impersonal.
Hands-Free Pet Care
If the feeder and web-cam aren’t enough of an impersonal relationship for you, you can now de-personalise grooming your dog. With the Dyson Groom Tool, you can brush your dog by vacuuming them. Sounds like a sane thought pattern went into this idea. The additional hose can be fitted onto your vacuum cleaner, and you just vacuum your dog. Hopefully, there are guidelines for the suction force and size of dog ratio – a chihuahua might not cope very well with a high powered vac.